Editing Activity

Rebuttal: Cooperstown and the 'Roids:

1. Used pathos to make me want to care about the topic, when generally I would be indifferent about the use of steroids.
2. The facts provided about the two baseball players who were omitted from the hall of fame not because of their drug use but because attitudes makes me greatly distrust the original writer for having such incorrect facts.

Wikipedia

1. The use of wikipedia for your source on the bio of Seigenthaler  is nothing less than amusing.
2. By picking out and identifying the main criteria the writer wanted to critique they were able to make a strong paper with strong points without being vague or misleading.

Argument Against Cannabis Goes Up in Smoke

1. I was constantly bombarded with facts and sources which allowed for a very factual paper but didn't make me believe that their oppinion was coming out.
2. There is an arguement that says "look all these guys did it" using the bandwagon affect, bad.

What I need to add to my paper...

1. Focused attributes to disagree with.
2. Multiple sources which support my arguement.
3. Examples that tie back to culture today
4. Strong thesis that isn't whimpy
5. DON'T BE VAGUE!

Critical Cultural Evaluation

"Healthy, Effective Weight Loss." Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers
     International, Inc., 2011. Web. 3 Aug. 2011.
     <http://www.weightwatchers.com/Templates/Gateway/
     Gateway_Home_2col.aspx?xp1=home&pageid=1058041>.

The main Weight Website will allow for direct information and analysis about what they are trying to do and say rather than accept what other people have to say and rely on their research.

United States. Dept. of Agriculture. "Food Groups." Choose My Plate. Dietary
     Health. N.p., 4 June 2011. Web. 3 Aug. 2011.
     http://www.choosemyplate.gov/foodgroups/proteinfoods_amount.aspx.

Having the government's officals having done the reasearch reassures me that they kow what they're talking about. I'll use this for facts and statistics.